Category Archives: Women and beauty

Purpose in a sea of discomfort 

The annual Pennsylvania women’s convention  was held recently in Philadelphia and 9 thousand women from all walks of life converged on the PA Convention center like hungry butterflies seeking connections, validation, love and confirmation among other things.

This is my  5th year attending and aside from the awesome keynotes which are always huge draws for the attendees, I was on a personal mission of my own as I was standing on a precipice of achievement, getting ready to leap and sought confirmation in either word or deed that I wasn’t crazy.

And I got it in spades.

After making my way through the throngs of women in search of my DISter friends (a group of ladies I will write about very soon,)  I found the first workshop on “Personal Branding” that had none other than Luvvie Ajaay as one of four panelists. If you don’t know awesomely Luvvie, I need you to get your life and google her because it’s worth the cackles for your entire soul.

As I listened to these women discuss how they took their fears in hand and followed their dreams to fruition,  I felt my soul lift and my body tingled  at the possibilities! I have long said to people that being your authentic self, is way more rewarding than a facade no one can identify with. The nuggets that came from That workshop ranged from using your social media spaces properly, finding your niche that others identify with and not allowing the imposter of self doubt to keep you from moving towards your goals.

I was front and center in the room and was able to get the first selfie with Luvvie before the sisters converged on her and that book of hers sold out!

I left that session feeling pumped and hauled my assets across the convention center to find the next one which featured motivational speaker and author, Lisa Nichols. If you don’t know WHO she is, I again suggest you google her then beg for forgiveness from the ancestors for such egregiousness that would allow the folly in you for missing out on this phenom!

She stepped in the stage, opened her mouth and I was immediately transported to the possibilities in front of me. Her speech? She was there to DISRUPT to norm in our lives, push us off the ledge of comfort so we can be uncomfortable in the challenges that would elevate us to our true paths in life.

Yes YES!!! I vacillated between being on the edge of my seat and taking copious notes that confirmed Much of what I had been hearing in recent days.. seated with me in this session, were 3 women who turned to me and said ” you better be ready because we are taking over your life and this is how we are going to help you get where we see you going.”

We left that session a few minutes early to get in line and meet these two women who would sign our books. As I stood there playing around with a few things, I bought new domain names online and just as I pressed “purchased” Lisa Nichols stretched out her hands to sign my book. I told her what I just did and she grabbed my hands in glee and screeched!! This is her below on stage and after signing my book.

I was so pumped after all of that, I barely touched my lunch or spent the usual time with my friends because I was on a mission. I went back to the exhibit hall, found a space to sit and began investing in myself  after learning about some tools I would need.

Amazon became my friend because I searched and bought as I was instructed to.  Talk about psyched!!

My last stop in the convention? Walking around to meet a few of the vendors as supporting women means the world to me. I floated until I saw something that grabbed my attention- a young mom who was so concerned about new mommys losing their identity after childbirth, she created a line of inspirational and hot looking Tshirts that would boost their spirits. I was so intrigued, I bought 4 and as I was signing for my purchases, I noticed she had years in her eyes as she thanked me. When she disclosed this was her LAUNCH day and that I bought the most amount of merchandise thus far and

It encouraged her that she was truly on to something, I hugged and wished her success beyond her wildest dreams!! Meet Ashley, the owner and creator of “Haute Moms..” did I say 10% of her proceeds go to support surgery for babies with cleft palates? I love her vision!!

Chile…. what was a diva left to do but bottle up ALL that inspiration and take it home in an Uber??

My hope is that your reading this will inspire YOU to leap off the ledge of comfort and face the challenges on your road to your purpose in life. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it!
Dueces and mad love,



He put a ring on it at noon and married her by when??

Wayment!!! Way.MENT.

Dammit. I HAS Questions!

So, it’s been floating all over the internet that this dude proposed at NOON on October 1, 2016 and had the ENTIRE wedding already planned down to her dress and had the nuptials at 6? 

On the same day?

How sway?

He had to have been planning this with a whole bunch of folks and it seemed like the entire free world knew EXCEPT her, judging by the amount of folks up and through!

Now.  They get to the venue and in the video below, I catch a glimpse of her and wondered HOW was she keeping it together..

She wasn’t. At all.

She is falling out and bawling etc and I would be doing the same darn thing.. she gon look back at this video and go lawd, I wasn’t ready!!😂😂

For ALL the Sistahs who are now looking at their men like “why can’t you do something sweet like this?” Let me beg for mercy on behalf  the poor men who just ain’t built or ready for such!!
Cause if my husband pulled a stunt like this? My dress wouldn’t fit properly, it would be a science theme with robots everywhere AND y’all would have a piece of meat and football at the reception😂😂😂
Lawd I can’t!!
Bless this brotha’s sweet heart but he fittin to be public enemy number 1 out here in these streets for making men now having to step their games waaay up!  See Prince and his shady face for the way men are looking right now as they face their indignant women because of this creative Dude.😂😂😂

God bless them all.. 
Dueces and mad love-


The birth motha of all things fly..

There is no other culture on earth more creative than black folks. Like seriously. Said creativity usually comes with folks turning up dignified nostrils witj a strong dose of disparaging comments ranging from from Assinine-Zookeeper 

But if you tarry a while, those once “awful”things, become mainstreamed by other cultures because well, it was creative.

They try not to give us credit and behave like said action originated from their mommas womb but we are having none of that and will call it out.. Bantu knots? Originated between the knees of an African mother thousands of years ago but to hear folks tell it, they only got cute cause they wearing them now. Don’t take my word for it though-see case and file #29456 of emulation-of-culture below.

#shetriedit but that move above? Came from-you guessed it- black folks.

So while I love my people and are mostly proud of them,  there are a few of us that just never have a can of “all together” no matter what the occasion and I am going to need them in the name of folks-may-try-this-too, to pull back the creative cords just a Tad.

I innocently inquired about a resent wedding from a friend and she said after giving me the little shop of horror face, “I can show you better than I can tell you.”

I just wasn’t ready for what my corneas doth behold.

These folks got married in a local mall and aside from the bride being so late that folks could have gone shopping and returned, when the procession began, there were so many bridesmaids, it took the Disc  Jockey  3 whole songs to cover them all walking down the aisle.  Did I mention each of the 15, stopping to wave with every step they took?  One HAD to be fully seen cause after all, the bride done made them pay for these dresses and they were getting their monies worth honey.

I can’t even describe the colors and shape of those dresses because the lexicon required, isn’t yet created for  my stunned brain.
Then miss Bride hit the stage in white pants and her top was wrap around sequins that made no earthly sense. I looked and tried but alas. They all rocked sneakers too which I KNOW is already a trend because someone got sick of standing for hours in uncomfortable shoes.
Back to the wedding.

At the bride and groom table were pump chairs so large and so white, I swore I saw a chalice or two next to them. I roared with laughter at the visual.

None of the usual traditions were followed which was cool with me since I wore an orange wedding gown to my own nuptials and broke the innanets😂😂😂 because we the people are creative like that.

I just can’t wait to see who is gonna emulate the stuff we come up with next but I need my people to move with caution because folks just pimping our style like it’s their own and gives us no Credit. That just won’t do.

Deuces and mad love,


Naked we came from our mothers womb….

Nine women deliberately left their warm beds early on a Saturday morning, traversed two hours up the road, entered a Korean spa, got naked and sauntered into one of several Pools to soak..
Let me back up.
Do you have ANY idea what it took for us, women who worked and dined together, to put aside all our inhibitions and do this?
In all fairness, I have been frequenting Korean spas for a few years and throughly enjoy the freedoms it allows you, but never had I done it with a group of women, some of who, had serious trepidations about being seen without the usual acoustics to the human anatomy and it was eye opening to watch them Shed, with each step they took, the unsure gaits that became one of confidence when they didn’t melt into a pillar of salt or worse, die of embarrassment.
All judgements were left at the door and in that vein, folks began enjoying themselves fully while we waited for our services.

Some played in the mineral pools- others chose the saunas while the rest of us had scrubs, massages and facials done.
There are two floors of restaurants and several quiet rooms with lounges to take naps or read.
Living without the barriers of fears, feels very much like this.
At least two of the women hesitated, not quite sure they would have been able to expose their most vulnerable selves but as they watched some of us shed and strut away, the lesson in that was startling.
To overcome the things that would keep your mind in bondage, requires tiny but bold steps until you realize you have nothing to lose but the very fear that held you back.
By 2 p.m. We were galavanting outside in the frigid air dancing alongside our bodies in the heated pools we  were in.. Chile.. You just had to be here!!


The best part though was the ice box. Yes, I said it.. A room Filled with ice that you just sit in and cool off..

I think we tried everything there was to do here except swim up to the bar because none of us drank alcohol.
Now. If you can’t make a simple decision like whether you want to eat cereal or rice, this sojourn isn’t for you.
But if you choose to try something new and fully embrace it, this is right up your ally.
As I watch my friends roam

And seek new adventures in here, all I want to do, is take a nap because they wore me out. So worth it though.
So. What are you planning to do that you have never tried before? I say go for it!!!
We certainly  did.

Fashionable or Frightening FAIL?

In spring of 2014, I began a very public journey to learn how to find and apply makeup correctly. You see, up until recently, I wore very little to no make up beyond a gloss and mascara. So I was determined to not only learn the fundamentals, I needed some
everyday wear

I chose three different makeup artists and got down to the business of figuring out my face.
What I found was beyond interesting. The process was anywhere between 25 minutes to hours and I could not believe all the attention to detail!
I also learned that makeup can be expensive depending on the brand and that all brands are not created equal. It is no wonder the make up industry is a billion dollar business!!

My first stop was Sephora, with a friend Jennifer and she had my face assessed. It was noted that my skin was almost flawless but I was given foundation, primer and concealer. Then it was on to the palette of eyeshadow, blush and lipstick. They ended with a bronzer for the skin and a finisher.
I have to tell you, my face didn’t feel like my own but I liked the transformation somewhat.
My next stop was with a professional artist and here are my results from her-

It was incredibly flawless but felt too heavy on my skin and I had an allergic reaction to the eyelash glue!! It Took over a week for the redness in my eyes to subside, so that was my first and last time wearing those things.

My next stop was another friend from Mary Kay but this time, I sent a picture of what kind of look I desired. I believe she came pretty close and the foundation was lighter and a better fit for my skin tone-


From those three informative sessions, I learned how to apply and wear makeup just the way I desired. What I found over time, was that it was too time consuming for me and I went back to mascara and gloss with one addition- a concealer for under my eyes. I’m much happier for it.


What generated this blog however, was a picture I recently saw on the Internet. You take a look and judge for yourself- but after I stared hard at it, I realized many people have taken makeup artistry to a new level and what may be too much for me, seems to not be enough for others

I have found myself wondering too, if men truly like all of what we go through to be beautiful or is this just about us? Makeup ages you depending on how often and how much it is used but seeing the imagery below from what seems to be an African wedding personally frightened me. Is this a part of a culture or have we gone frighteningly too far?
You decide.
Enough said-