Category Archives: White allies
I met a lovely woman today who made it a point to sit beside me in an early morning meeting and I could tell she needed to have a conversation by her approach and she thought maybe she could have it with me.
In our polite chatter, I learned she lived in one of the wealthiest communities in the state and country and she was struck by how few people of color she saw there unless they were NFL or NBA players. It was then that I began to learn the real reason for her speaking with me. She asked if she could be honest to which I replied in the affirmative and she fussed about seeing the few black folks in her community being, in her words, constantly stopped by law enforcement and while she didn’t witness any aggressive behaviors, she also noticed no one else in their community being stopped as much either.
I was mildly stunned when she then said ” I’m a blonde haired white woman who wants to help in any way I can but who would listen to me?” She and I spoke of strategies on being a good neighbor without feeling forced and then I learned she married a man that was so incredibly wealthy, his family had buildings named after them and they gave away tons of money yearly to what they considered worthwhile programs and ventures.
I listened to all of this and stayed engaged but felt something was missing.
Then She said it.
She desires to find a more diverse place to be but didn’t want to create unnecessary hangs for her husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in his early 50’s. I looked in her eyes and my heart broke at the resigned sadness I saw within.
I could see she would happily give up some of that wealth to gain her husband a healthy mind instead of the one that was slowly destroying him and in that moment, I gained clarity on just how important our health is.
Every day that I can walk into the gym and lift weights, box or even have my presence of mind, is a good one. We so often take that gift of health for granted until reality hits us. Family genetic markers are important to know by asking key questions that should help each generation to make choices based on what we have within the gene pool.
Do everything you want in moderation- love hard, practice kindness and humility daily, hug whenever possible And keep gratitude in your heart.
Because we never know when the tide will shift…
Dueces and mad love,