Category Archives: Police

The eggs dropped by the birds nest for a little love 

A few days ago, my eldest child flew home to visit albeit briefly, so we could see each other before he went off to handle his real purpose for being here- his fraternity and the brothers he formed a deep bond with. I was with him for less than 12 hours but we squeezed priceless moments within and my soul and heart were full when he left.

I wrote about this son a while back in a post where he had an encounter with a police officer https://lawfultrainer.wordpress.com/2013/07/14/innocence-of-a-child-forever-gone/

Even as we worked diligently to be certain he was okay and told him to keep achieving, he continues to defy and exceed any expectations anyone could have of him.

Quite simply, he’s determined to succeed and writes 5 and 10 year plans to keep his purpose in the forefront always. So earlier this year, 2 weeks before his 24th birthday, he had already graduated from college, works for a Great company that values and relocated him to another state and after just 11 months of living in said state, he closed on his very 1st home.

As remarkable as that was, he also bought that home with no financial help from his father and I. In fact, he insisted it was something he wanted to see if he could do and he did. We couldn’t believe how disciplined he was to save by not buying a new car when he graduated from college even as his peers were stunting with new rides all around him. He paid his bills on time and kept his credit score in a place many adults do not have and he stunned the banks when they saw he really saved and had a stable job at his age. Once he bought that home though, I flew in and helped him to furnish and buy appliances. He smiled and said I was “such a mommy” as if that was an insult!!😂😂😂

He is now 24 and as I listened to him discuss what his next set of plans entailed, I teared up remembering all he had gone through to get to this point and that his adversities only made him grow to the place where he is an incredible advocate of his rights and can see things from a point of view most miss.

He is a really quiet and profound cat that I am so proud to call SON. I caught a brief glimpse of his need for parent love when he walked up to hug me and just laid his head on my chest for a good two minutes. It was cathartic and healing to us both.

He credits his tenacity to having parents who aren’t afraid to work hard and achieve-he astutely learned certain traits we carry that he found to be beneficial in business and life and built upon that. I have no doubt we haven’t fully begun to see what he will accomplish. and while the house was filled with both my children and all their friends, when the nest emptied and those birds flew back to where they came from, they all left a piece of their love joy and peace with me..

Parents- raising children is the most challenging thing we will do and it never ends. We want to protect our children from danger and harm while we coach them on being able to thrive in environments away from us. If we could, we would shield them and keep their innocence firmly intact but life doesn’t work that way. 

On this day, I pray you have the courage and strength to do what you know is right for your children and to seek advice when needed.

Those babies we carried and nurtured will one day become adults. How they get there depends upon you in those early years of learning and growth.

Dueces and mad love,

Diva 

when the oldest comes home for a visit

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till Death us do part

A local woman in Philadelphia went for a jog in the PennyPack Park, failed to return home after several hours and was ultimately found dead. A few days later, after the reward went to fifty one thousand dollars for the capture of her killer/s, her husband was arrested. According to the police, he confessed they had an argument, he followed and ultimately strangled her. It seems like just another story of domestic violence but the numbers are pretty telling;

http://www.domesticpeace.com/ed_nationalstats…
A woman is beaten every 15 seconds in the United States. Each day ….. 4 women die as a result of abuse.

5.3 million women are abused each year. As many as 324,000 women each year experiance domestic violence during … cases of domestic violence occur among U.S. women 18 and older each year
http://www.abetterwaydomesticviolence.org/ro…

In this case, there was a history of domestic violence in the home and people often say things like ” why do they stay?” I know from personal history that it isn’t always so easy and domestic violence takes a toll in ways that’s just unimaginable. In my case, I was able to get out and lead a productive life

But many other women are not so lucky.

Because we ( victims of violence) tend to hide abuse from our family members, look
For the following signs that something is wrong;

1) your loved one starts making a bunch of excuses about why they can’t visit family or family cannot visit them. This could be a classic sign of someone being controlled against their will.

2). They seem Like different people when they are with you but when the mate comes around, personality changes noticeably

3). Unexplained bruises with fantastic excuses

4) they begin to exhibit signs of nervousness and unexplained tears when you least expect it.

These are just a few. I have to caution you that no amount of begging or easing seems to work
with many victims because they are often left to feel
Like the abuse is a result of some behavior on their part. The victim
Must get to a place of ” no more” and will hopefully run when it’s safe to do so. Having children in the mix, often complicates things further.

I also must say that the abuser is usually suffering too from some sort of undiagnosed mental illness or anger management from childhood trauma. Some are just sociopaths who prey on the weak. The best way to help them, is to hold them accountable for their actions but often, the victim ( through fear guilt and yes. Love) refuses to press charges as in the case of the running back from the Baltimore Ravens.

It is a sad scenario indeed and one where education must begin literally from birth. Our children learn through our examples. What are we teaching them is acceptable through our behaviors?
We want to believe that most people are good and many are, but do not be deceived by the sociopaths among us. Protect yourselves by not getting fully vested into a relationship that spells trouble. Take those clues in the beginning and run for your life.

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