Category Archives: Debates
What a week this has been. I am still recovering from Hosting Thanksgiving dinner in our home and all the shenanigans of love that took place within.
My husband was feeling especially mushy for some inexplicable reason and at one point, sat on the porch with me saying how grateful he was for us. I reminded him we had guests after telling him I was grateful for his love too and so as we walked back into the confines of the house, he says from behind me to the entire family, “we have news to share, Andrea is having a baby.”
I kept walking to the kitchen as his crazy family members clapped in glee and without turning around I replied ” what the hell is wrong with you?”
He cracked up and told them he was playing and I thought that was the end of it.
Later on that night, I learned from his mother that she would not be opposed to us having a child and in fact, she was looking forward to it.
Now see here.
Did they forget I was a clapback of 50?
When I reminded them of my not so tender years, I heard ” Janet Jackson is 51 and she’s doing it!”
Ummm… my name ain’t Janet. It ain’t Jackson if you nasty either. Not to mention I am sane enough to know these eggs have done their final drop some two score and plenty years ago and they fitting to scramble and retire for good in these Fallopian tubes. And I have an excellent retirement plan called menopause awaiting their arrival
I spoke about it at length with my husband this morning and it seems he seriously has been thinking about it. I refrained from asking him to get his brain checked as we are now grandparents and instead worked hard to see and connect with his sentiments.
He agreed the baby-ship has sailed for us once I laid out the facts but was happy I heard him out.
Lawd have mercy..
Men should be able to get pregnant. I bet you it would alleviate some of this baby talk. Women aren’t toaster ovens who pop out little humans on cue. This is a lifetime thing and honey, our “baby” will be 21 in 3 months and seeking to live abroad once he finishes college.
I seee the horizon and it has no wailing babies that I can’t send back to its parents in it.
Hell does indeed go with no.
Dueces and mad love,
Dear God up in heaven. Enough already. This election has left everyone so divided and so incredibly stressed that even when I stopped in to see my doctor for a well visit, this usually unflappable and congenial man was turning all sorts of shades as he discussed the insanity of it all.
It has gotten to the point that if I turn on my television and see pundits gleefully discussing the next big scandal, I turn it off and walk away and dare my husband to part his lips and say one word to me about anything that starts with the letter “E.”
Friends are no longer speaking, I have gotten so many pieces of divisive literature that I could wallpaper a whole section of my house and I swear, I have never seen so many signs and notices on the street “selling” their candidates.
For goodness sake already. Is it Tuesday yet?
I asked my friends on social media what to place in my new election survival kit and they offered the following-
- Wine. Lots of it
- Ear plugs
- Nutmeg in both cheeks to lower blood pressure
- A plot on Mars
My money is on mars…. like seriously. So no matter where you land in this vortex do me a huge favor-
Go out and exercise your RIGHT to vote.
Dueces and mad love,
The other day, I saw what could only be described as a shiny new toy in our basement and wondered who it belonged to because it couldn’t be ours. So I asked mister.
Me: babe, is that a weed whacker I see downstairs? Does it belong to our landscaper?
Him: no it’s ours.
Me: how sway? When I first got here, the weeds were taller than me in the back yard (no exaggeration) and the front was a disaster. I have never seen you touch, pluck or move a Blade of nature. What sense does that make?
Him: if memory serves me, it just needed a long cord and there is nothing wrong with it.
Me: but you are not using it so why do we have it again?
Him: it’s brand new.
Me: from 10 years ago and never used. Give it away.
Him: you know I can be a pack rat. I keep thinking I may need stuff down the road.
Me: I’m going to need you to unpack your rat because this house is void of your junk and it will stay that way if you want peace on earth.
Him: give me a week. If I haven’t figured out what to do with it, then we can get rid of it.
Lord have mercy. Did I say he was HIGHLY allergic to pollen? I have never seen him cutting grass etc as a direct result so I am stumped on why there is a weed whacker holding up a corner like glorified trash! I could feel him bristling at the thought of not keeping this thing he may never use but that’s how we start a collection of things we don’t need and an occasional purging is healthy for my mind and his body.😂😂😂😂
Speaking of trash- my husband and I keep having this one sided debate about it and who should take it to the curb on disposal days.
I see nothing wrong with dragging it to the curb but he is adamant that he will do it the night before.
So what is a sister to do? Keep in mind that I have lifted barns, helped to pull a plane and all other sundry of things but in THIS house, he believes it’s one of his roles because he doesn’t want me handling the trash cans.
I need someone to gently hold his hands and bring him into this century but in the meantime, I made an executive decision and dragged what is now two weeks worth of garbage out to the curb.
I’m praying he says nothing beyond thank you so I can keep my “I was ONLY trying to help YOU buddy!” Attitude firmly in check😂😂
When he’s home and can take it out, by all means but I’m not helpless and this is one less thing he has to consider if I make it home before him.
That’s what marriage is all about right? Collaboration, picking up the slack, not counting roles and supporting each ther.
I keep telling you all- this isn’t for punks so stay the course and don’t get distracted by the little things. Like trash.
Deuces and mad love,
I woke up not feeling motivated today. I’m Sneezing every 30 seconds, my throats feels slightly scratchy, I have a funeral to attend of a friend who died suddenly mid week, my nose is stuffy, I sat through what can only be described as a petty presidential debate and simply would like to stay in bed all day singing the blues.
Thank goodness, life doesn’t allow for me to stay here- I do indeed have work to do, and will move shortly. You see, I am pushing through because nowhere does it state that all our days will be sunshine and tulips.
It’s often too easy for us to whine, point fingers, feel Sorry for ourselves and give up because we don’t feel like being bothered. It’s in those exact moments where we must strive to keep going because just beyond that speed bump, is usually a triumph.
So I have decided that today I will accomplish something I haven’t done before. Today I will look beyond my irritations and find gratitude in the smallest of things. Today I will show and be love to someone who may need it. Today I will invest in myself and my future in some small way.
Because tomorrow will be here soon enough and since time marches on, let me be about the businsss of marching right along with it the best way I can
Dueces and mad love,
Either God has a sense of humor, or I’m crazy. I’m placing my money on God. Every single morning between 2 0r 3 am, I awaken like clockwork. I kinda know why but more about that later.
So I’m up as usual and happened to check the space where my siblings and I chat daily to check in with each other about our lives, what’s happening with our aging parents etcetera.
I clearly wasn’t prepared for the conversation I began reading but I felt a chuckle bubble in my soul, that erupted from my mouth into full blown laughter as I read comment after comment that went from The ridiculous to the sublime.
You see, 2 of my siblings were trying to get a third to look beyond the scenario of dogs being taken to church and to the altar to be blessed by a priest and see the lessons within but she was so STUCK on what our Jamaican culture dictated that she couldn’t see why this particular scenario was happening. The hilarity that ensued, warmed the cockles of my tickled heart!
They teased her mercilessly and she wouldn’t budge but reminded them that she is able to look clearly enough at something and if it didn’t make sense to her, she wasn’t going to do it no matter what her wretched siblings said to the contrary 😂😂😂
The older we get, it’s become apparent that we have similar traits to either one or both of our parents that we SWore would never happen.
We prayed and asked God daily to let the idiosyncratic cups pass us by but alas!😂😂
Our father has been a sage offering all kinds of advice and lessons within everything he sees and encounters. It drove us nuts as children but we have some of those same tendencies. Some of us more than others and I ain’t pointing no fingers. Ha!! He also believes in using natural ingredients for everything. It better come from the earth or he ain’t touching it. This is the man that went to the dentist and they could find zero plaque on his teeth because his regimen daily with brushing and flossing lasts a good 15 minutes after each and every meal.
I can’t make this stuff up.
Our mother is a class act who was steadfast in teaching us how to grow up and be responsible and classy women that wouldn’t compromise our souls for anything. She is much quieter than our father who talks from the minute he awakens until he falls asleep and she is the ying to his chatty yang.
Our childhood friends love our parents and we couldn’t understand their constant craving of two people we tried our best to never cross hairs with but as we all age, we see the value in how they raised us to look after each other, showed us that prayer is a powerful tool, that giving back goes beyond the basics, that we are to treat others well and lord were they ever excellent examples of how we raised our own children.
My sisters are the solid backbone to my very existence. They hold me accountable like only siblings can, they show up in ways big and small no matter what is going on and they pray hard when I take off on another adventure that I will return unscathed because none of them wants to be the one to explain to our parents, why they allowed me to go off on what they would consider a reckless folly.😂 As if anyone could stop me and they know this from raising my precocious self!
Our mommy celebrates another turn around the sun today and as I give thanks for her being here with us among the living, I also give thanks that she raised four girls into beautiful women who found their purpose and continues to walk with mankind in our own unique ways. She is an excellent grandmother to 4 grandchildren as evidenced with my oldest son dancing with her in the featured photo. She dotes on them in ways that makes us wonder who she is because the drill sergeant mother became the pudding pop Grandmom.
Family is a blessing and it’s wonderful to live to a space where the value of it can be fully appreciated even in the roughest of times.
Love and appreciate yours in ways big or small- meet people where they are-try not it judge but seek to understand and always remind yourself we aren’t going to be here on earth forever so make the best of each moment we have here.
Deuces and mad love,
Friday October 7th was the premiere of the movie Birth Of A Nation and while I knew I was going to view it and psyched myself up to see what was sure to shock my senses in parts, what happened was something different. For me anyway.
That day began in an interesting manner where I had to circumvent and remind a few folks who were so entrenched in how they did things, they forgot education was about the children they purportedly served.
So I was already feeling some kinda funky from a long day filled with meetings, when I pointed my diva mobile in the general direction of the movie theater.
I had two sips of some kind of beverage and some appetizers but I was more engrossed in chatting with many of the folks who I hadn’t met before this screening and a few who knew me Well enough to be prepared for any and all Shenanigans I may spew forth.
After ALL of that preparation, I walked in and settled myself in the very back after taking a deep cleansing breath.
I would NOT be the sister who left disliking all white folks based on what I saw.
Listen. 30 minutes in? I was cringing, tears were flowing down my cheeks,
I was talking to myself and the screen, I called on Jesus more than
A few times and didn’t know IF I would make it through.
Here is what I learned- and let me be clear, you may get something totally different but our past experiences often shape what we see and feel.
I saw a man who was chosen to be a leader who was quiet, caused no trouble, did what his master told him and learned to read because the slave owners wife took an interest in him.
Lesson? Never dismiss people based on what you see. The eyes can be deceptive. Nat Turner had something within, that the outer facade belied and he was therefore trusted in places and spaces that gave him access when the time came.
There is a courage within people
Of African descent that isn’t often depicted anywhere as it serves to remind us that we matter, we are Smart, we Are Resilient and while everyone may not be on board when the time comes to act, it only requires a few to get a movement started.
Watching The constant raping of our women and children at the hands of slave masters, only for those broken women to be sent back to their men afraid, ashamed and hurt to their core, almost put me over the edge.
I also saw the courage, love and anguish of the men, who often risked their lives to protect their families the best way they could. That visual warmed my soul.
We suffered a lot as a people and it continues to present day but we also have more power and able to make choices instead of waffling in mired hurt and pain alone.
Many are called, FEW are chosen. We all have a purpose in this life and our one job is to find it and then follow.
Nat Turner and many others lost their lives
For that insurgence but it sparked a revolution that changed slavery after he died.
We MUST make it our business to learn
About our history and stop waiting for it to become
Curriculum in schools. There are too many books, not to
For that to even be an excuse any longer.
As a woman, I walk every day with the ancestry of Nanny of the Maroons from Jamaica whose blood runs through my veins. I am steeped in my culture in a way that serves as a reminder that I can and will continue to achieve with alacrity and I must serve those around me with same.
We had a discussion after the movie and I left wondering who were to two or three who would actually step beyond the emotions to spark the next movement.
There were a few Caucasian students from Arcadia university who watched the movie and I could FEEL the palpable
Discomfort coming from a couple. I walked right over to them and reminded them to not leave here feeling guilty but rather enlightened on how they could help to make this a better America for us all.
That movie shook my very core- but it did something that was so much more. It was confirmation in a way that I in particular needed.
Go see it. It’s worth every penny and the lessons are priceless.
Deuces and mad love,
Lord ha mercy. This here election season has been fraught with disbelief, anger, weariness, and yes, hilarity.
Up until 18 months ago, I was floating in the breeze of ” no politics on any of my social media pages,” and then one fateful morning, I saw what looked like June Bug from the ‘hood- you know him right? The dude that ran things with threats, and had no trouble breaking legs etc, to get his way because he owned the streets with no mercy or a conscience. That June Bug. The thing about June Bug is that he has a loyal following who swears he is the second coming of the ghetto and everything must be approved by his royal wretchedness.
This June Bug though, is running for President.
Of these here United States.
When he first hit the stage with his announcement to run, folks snickered and said he would never be taken seriously because he didn’t have a Clue and America was smart enough to see through his facade. A whole football team of men and one woman all lined up to trounce what they called June Bug the clueless thug, only to realize, much to their dismay, good old JB had a massive following that began emerging from the shadows like thirsty , over looked mummies whose leader had finally arisen. These followers became emboldened by the over-the-top JB who finally opened the gates of no-respectability and allowed the spewing of free speech like never before.
Meanwhile- strange fruit began hanging from the poplar trees across the country. Farmers began screeching that their farms matter and they were being marginalized so they can become extinct. They took to the streets in protest to fight for their rights.
IMAGE CREDT: “From the hanging tree to strange fruit”-Susanne Collins
Then there was Snarky. You know that person right? The one who feels it’s their turn to be in charge of the free world and feels they are too super qualified to be overlooked by the masses yet again. After all, snarky had put in her time and played the game and made her deals like a savvy politician should. And not to be out done, snarky is also trying to create history. The kind that would make you First Snarky, Senator Snarky , Secrteary of State Snarky and now President. So Snarky began lining up delegates that would persuaade people into being with her and touted all her wonderful accomplishments to date.
Slight problem. A good majority of folks found Snarky to be untrustworthy because of her ties to certain corporate structures, her less than stellar attitude when questioned about, well, questionable things and she has been caught in a net of lies.
Snarky had a competitor too but she wore him out with her super delegate counts despite what many among the masses asked for. What snarky wanted, snarky got and she now walks around with a perpetual smirk while working harder to connect with the commoners in her wake.
What is a beleaguered nation to do?
So here we are, less than 60 days away from choosing a new Commander In Chief, and we settle down for the first debate.
A whole stale pot of collard greens kind of mess.
June bug threatened to start wars for simple things, does random counting because his estimated wealth is so “bigly” he’s always being audited and he was smart to not pay income taxes on millions earned, while he lamented about the horrible infrastructure that NEEDS our tax dollars to work well.
He’s sniffling constantly, didn’t answer a single question appropriately and we are left to wonder What DOES he know and even better- who CARED, that had already decided he was their man to make Anerica Great again.
Snarky meanwhile, is asking JB to release his taxes as he hollers back when she releases the thousands of emails she erased, reminded her she was a bigot too for the laws passed by her husband that has led to many strange fruits in prison rotting away, and her desensitized behaviors to the farmers lives matter movement all around her until she was told, she was gonna need the strange fruit votes too..
If this hasn’t begun to sound like utter madness to you yet, the I don’t know what will. All this talk about foreign threats when the folks stateside are crying for tax relief, good health insurance, jobs, a decent way to live.
Watching that debacle of a debate only served to remind us that we are all in for a rude awakening- no matter who wins.
And then. This happened. As my friend Mr. Mann Frisby would say, “why sway?” Clearly, Snarky had no real clue who she was or just wasn’t fully moved by the what amounted to the “strange fruit spiritual” in mixed company.
Lawd, Lawdy, Lort.
Start storing those rainy day nuts now- I get the feeling between these two,it might be raining for a long time to come.
Deuces and mad love,