Category Archives: Controlling people

High Apple Pie in the Sky Hopes..

Steve Jobs was an eccentric dude who had a dream. He was laughed at, ridiculed and often scorned for his out-of-the-box thinking, and even lost several Jobs and failed at business ventures a few times. He kept at it and what he left behind in these apple Products through his ingenuity with a partner that believed in and joined him, is priceless, has forever changed the way we use technology and forced other companies to step their mediocre games way up.
Oprah Winfrey- the little “black gal” who was too ambitious for her britches, was told by the station manager that if she moved from her “cushy” job in Tennessee to Chicago, she would most certainly fail. And yet, she followed her gut and kept going through her mistakes by remaining authentic and sharing herself fully, which connected her to billions of people eventually. She dared to dream of owning her own network and had the balls to shut down her successful show, close HARPO studios in Chicago and took her entire life to Los Angeles.

All kinds of obstacles were thrown her way and people she thought would stand by her side, judged her for doing what her heart said. Because why did she have to be so bold in wanting a network? Didn’t she know what a mistake that was?  Why wasn’t she yet married? Why did she share so much of her personal life? Why, why, why? She hunkered down and kept moving with the few who believed.
Today, she has a successful network, studios larger than the one she had in Chicago, and has given us one of the BEST pieces of programming in “Queen Sugar.” Her boldness has created jobs, launched people to become their best selves and on and on. Imagine if she had listened to that station manager and her daddy who thought she was just out of pocket in following her heart.
These are just two examples of many who dared to actualize their purpose. 

Why am I saying all of this? When people don’t understand YOUR dream, or they feel uncomfortable with what they can’t possibly visualize, they WILL try and derail it with their opinions.
You will feel hurt and angry and discouraged but what you must NOT do? Is give up. The world deserves what is inside of you because you never know how you are impacting mankind in your bravery and determination to follow your PURPOSE.
To the naysayers who can’t seem to help themselves with their doomsday comments and judgements of those around them that are daring to explore what they dream about, please understand that you are only fuel for dreamers to keep moving and growing and doing. 
The cemeteries are already too filled of people who died with their dreams within because they were told to keep that “stable” job or whatever the thing is said to deter people no matter how well intentioned you may be. Just because it doesn’t make sense to you, it does not make you right.
Failure is also not a bad thing. It teaches us the lessons that will create the solid foundation as we move to higher heights. So allow people to fail UP instead of talking them DOWN to your level of comfort. Be unselfish enough to get out the way of the ones who carry the fire within the pit of their bellies to live beyond the pale.

We all aren’t designed to simply exist in the boxes we allow others to create for us. 
So while you keep judging, we will keep those high hopes. No matter what.
Dueces and mad love,


When your “petty” messes with growth and your coins..

 After witnessing something a few weeks ago, I am writing about self confessed petty people and where the thin line exists between funny and ” something ain’t QUITE right with you.”

So my friend Mister Mann Frisby comes to mind. Dude has a Phd in All things petty. He could and probably does make a decent living, throwing all kinds of shade and no one is off limits when he revs up the petty engines.

I simply refuse to be caught eating or drinking when I read his posts because I have had to clean up too many spills from guffawing at his foolishness. If you don’t know him personally, one would think dude was nuts. Wait. He IS nuts!! Chile you must trust me on this.

What is stark about Mister though?

 When you meet him, you see he is a kindhearted  and thoughtful cat, whose aura reeks off the chain love and light. I don’t even know if he realizes that. Not one of us are perfect folks but at his core, he wants what is best for those around him. As a result, no matter what he is promoting, I’m open to supporting his crazy behind and I often do.
There is another person that many of you love and revere for a similar brand  of pettiness and said person has had us all rolling with tears streaming down our faces, as we read their hilarious take on life in general. 

I was stunned when I finally had a chance to meet this personality and their  aura blew me back at the way they dealt with the public who will either continue to support or start to pull back because the petty on paper, is superimposed in real life and you realize standing in front of you,  is a human being who truly isn’t a nice person. They say the eyes are the windows to our soul and this Chile got some unresolved issues bubbling there.

When our livelihood depends on the very folks we are purportedly entertaining, it behooves us to do our own spiritual work to wellness or we will become a toxic dumping ground to anyone in our presence. Which then leads to disappointment and failures because no one will pay you money over and again to be emotionally wrung or abused. That ain’t funny. No matter what spin you put on it.

But hey- you don’t have to take my word for it. Do you. Experience is STILL the best teacher  around.
Dueces and mad love 


Featured image is from the

She almost got some Shug Avery pee in her food

A couple of mornings ago, I opted to have breakfast from home while doing some work and stopped in a spot up the street with fish and eggs on my mind.

I went to feed the parking meter some  coins and was 3 quarters in when the darn thing blinked and said it was out of order. I took a picture just in case Sone over zealous ticket writer decided to get “cute” and ignore the message to write me a ticket and walked inside to settle down, plugged up my computer, ordered my food and began reflecting on the day ahead.

In walks these two women and while I wasn’t clear if they were related, I was super clear that the older one used her age and authority to push the other around. Wasn’t none of my business but as I heard her berating the younger one about not having enough coins in the machine, I gently said good morning and offered my last quarter to which they said thank you.

Miss seasoned Sally looked and wondered aloud why I was giving up my money. I explained my machine was out of order so I was good.

My eyes lifted with surprise when she ordered me to move my vehicle to another machine or I would get a ticket. I patiently explained why I wouldn’t get one and she harrumphed as If she gave birth to me, and I was too hard headed for my own good.

At this point I’m mildly amused at her control issues and went back to the task in front of me.

I had to take a pause for the cause and look up again, when the waitress went to take their order and this woman got on her phone just at that moment to make a phone call and had the nerve to say “I’m talking so you are going to have to wait for me to finish.”

Say what now?

The younger lady was mortified but stayed silent, and when the waitress looked at her like she was nuts and walked away from their table, Miss seasoned sally got up and left in a huff.

Good riddance.

It behooves us to treat people, especially the ones in the service industry, with a modicum of decency and some respect. If home training doesn’t kick in, think about the stuff they can put in your food if you make their lives miserable. All I could see was Miss Celie in the movie “the color purple” spitting in that mans water for messing with her friend and stirring it with her finger.

We got to do better.

When we pay for a service, we should get something good in return.but if you are waiting for someone to accommodate you while you are on the phone for instance, that is the level of a  paid butler in your home.

Some of y’all just need several cans of “act right.”

What we put out to people, we get back. It’s that simple and yet it’s a powerful reminder.

Dueces and mad love,