The heartburn that became a dope lesson

We have some really ratty looking chairs in our kitchen. I mean REALLY ratty. They look so awful, I don’t have the heart to post a visual of them. Yep. THAT ratty. 
 It used to kill me to look at those chairs and not go out and purchase a new set, but something stopped me. 
My husband.
Just about every memory he had in our house has been expelled for one perfectly sane reason or another.
If you saw the way he was living, you would agree with me. None of his plates matched, no rhyme or reason to anything he owned and as long as he had a recliner, a piece of meat and his beloved football, he was fine.
He didn’t account for this new wife of his to come in and make the space a place of warmth and safety.
That meant gutting every floor and getting rid of everything that wasn’t nailed down.
I can laugh about it now with him but he wasn’t speaking to me at all for about a week😂😂😂😂
So why did I keep those ratty chairs?  
The wistful look on his face when he wondered if we couldn’t just hang on to them, because they were comfy to him at night when he was tired after a long day at work, it’s where he sat to grade his papers and sometimes watch his beloved Eagles play football.
I love him way more than I despised those ratty chairs and so they remain. For now.
I realized today, my gesture was not lost upon him when he quietly thanked me for leaving his comfy chairs alone.
Lawd Jesus.. my next step is to find someone to re-upholster them before my heart can’t take any more. Did I say they looked good and terrible?
The things we do for love.. and compromise. Some of you may never be caught dead having something so awful looking in your homes and it may not be about some ratty chairs, but more about being aware of what you can do to compromise in relationships that always requires work.
It is so easy to fall into a space of not always considering the thoughts and feelings of the ones we love in an effort to get what we want, but those thoughtful gestures add up to long term goodness in ways we don’t often comprehend.

While our partners are initially drawn to us by something physical they see, they stay by what they see within us over time. They need to know we got their backs when it counts. When we give a little, we gain a lot in return.

Our mates should be a reflection of the value system within us. We attract who we are. Believe that.
Deuces and mad love,

Diva

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About lawfultrainer

Passionate Educator on all things but especially family partnerships. Determined. Driven.

Posted on October 4, 2016, in Culture, Education, family, laughter, love, marriage, men, Mental health, Relationship, washington Post, Women, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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