#Dearmommy….Thank you….with loads of love

Today is my momma’s birthday and so with much gusto, I picked up the phone to call her early knowing that she would already be on her zillion mile walk. when she answered the phone, the strangest thing happened- my eyes began to well with tears as I jovially wished her a happy birthday. You see, my mother is in her 70’s and like most elderly parents, faces health challenges that she continues to tackle but I had a reality check that punched me in the gut, that my mother can not and will not live forever.

This lady though…

Best grandmother ever.  you better not say a thing about her and let her grandchildren hear.  my own two sons could light the earth’s hemisphere from the sheer joy on their faces when they see her. No matter how many times I have seen it happen, it still amazes me.  look at my oldest son’s face as he dances with her this past June at our wedding..he is absolutely peaceful around her..

Without thinking too hard about it as I spoke with her, I began sharing my gratitude for her love for us all, how she guided and protected us from all kinds of things- how I channel her every time I step outside my door dressed like a lady and woman who knows my worth, how I think about her as I raised my sons and that I owed my success as a parent and adult to her because she is a stellar role model.

I shared the things I didn’t understand in the moment, became crystal clear to me as an adult and that I would continue to honor her in word and deed through my own actions while knowing she is not expecting perfection.

I couldn’t thank her enough.

I was a difficult child to raise. For my parents anyway. I was respectful, learned all the societal norms easily but had a social justice mind-set that was not to be rivalled with. And yes, I was also an average child who pushed the boundaries of what could and should be done.

I flew out of her womb it seems, with a mind of my own and as early as anyone can remember, I spoke up about the things that seemed slanted and unfair.  No amount of spankings could deter me either. It finally dawned on my parents that I wasn’t just being wilfully disobedient, but that I truly believed in the choices I made.  It was August of 2014 when I flew in to visit them, that they sat me own and both said I confounded them as a child and adult because if I deemed  something worthy of doing, nothing stopped me. My jumping in an F-16 with the US AIRFORCE  Thunderbirds made them throw their hands up in the air in shock and amazement that the child they raised with strong convictions, became the adult who never strayed from that path.

My poor mother all at once tried to remove me from earth and protect me from myself.. and I thanked her profusely for it all. I love my mother more than life itself and told her I needed her to understand that before she leaves this earth. I could not have asked for a better role model and I know all the tools I have in my arsenal of life, comes from her, the giver of MY life.

My siblings and I forces of nature after being raised by this little woman who could invoke the fear of God in you with a stare and she still does it too, just not to her beloved grandchildren who walks on clouds of love always. it makes us shake our heads but I am thrilled those 4 young people feels daily, the joy of having the love of a grandmother.

Happy birthday mommy- I am half the woman you have been to so many and each day we are graced with you on earth, is one of grace and I am eternally grateful..