till Death us do part

A local woman in Philadelphia went for a jog in the PennyPack Park, failed to return home after several hours and was ultimately found dead. A few days later, after the reward went to fifty one thousand dollars for the capture of her killer/s, her husband was arrested. According to the police, he confessed they had an argument, he followed and ultimately strangled her. It seems like just another story of domestic violence but the numbers are pretty telling;

http://www.domesticpeace.com/ed_nationalstats…
A woman is beaten every 15 seconds in the United States. Each day ….. 4 women die as a result of abuse.

5.3 million women are abused each year. As many as 324,000 women each year experiance domestic violence during … cases of domestic violence occur among U.S. women 18 and older each year
http://www.abetterwaydomesticviolence.org/ro…

In this case, there was a history of domestic violence in the home and people often say things like ” why do they stay?” I know from personal history that it isn’t always so easy and domestic violence takes a toll in ways that’s just unimaginable. In my case, I was able to get out and lead a productive life

But many other women are not so lucky.

Because we ( victims of violence) tend to hide abuse from our family members, look
For the following signs that something is wrong;

1) your loved one starts making a bunch of excuses about why they can’t visit family or family cannot visit them. This could be a classic sign of someone being controlled against their will.

2). They seem Like different people when they are with you but when the mate comes around, personality changes noticeably

3). Unexplained bruises with fantastic excuses

4) they begin to exhibit signs of nervousness and unexplained tears when you least expect it.

These are just a few. I have to caution you that no amount of begging or easing seems to work
with many victims because they are often left to feel
Like the abuse is a result of some behavior on their part. The victim
Must get to a place of ” no more” and will hopefully run when it’s safe to do so. Having children in the mix, often complicates things further.

I also must say that the abuser is usually suffering too from some sort of undiagnosed mental illness or anger management from childhood trauma. Some are just sociopaths who prey on the weak. The best way to help them, is to hold them accountable for their actions but often, the victim ( through fear guilt and yes. Love) refuses to press charges as in the case of the running back from the Baltimore Ravens.

It is a sad scenario indeed and one where education must begin literally from birth. Our children learn through our examples. What are we teaching them is acceptable through our behaviors?
We want to believe that most people are good and many are, but do not be deceived by the sociopaths among us. Protect yourselves by not getting fully vested into a relationship that spells trouble. Take those clues in the beginning and run for your life.

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About lawfultrainer

Passionate Educator on all things but especially family partnerships. Determined. Driven.

Posted on October 13, 2014, in Domestic violence, Education, family, history, huffinton Post, Justice, literacy, love, men, Mental health, Police, Relationship, washington Post, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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