Monthly Archives: January 2014

What’s a mother to do?

It was a frigid 17 degrees outside the courthouse at 1801 Vine Street in Philadelphia but inside, the temperature was steadily rising as many made their way to Courtroom A.
You see, we were all awaiting the arrival Of Darrin Manning, the 16 year old honor student who had his testicles squeezed until they ruptured on January 7th by a female police officer.
That was the day,when the City had temperatures below zero and the Principal of the school, gave her basketball team scarves to wrap around their faces on their way to practice. What happened when those boys got off the subway at Broad and Girard, has yet to be fully flushed out but what we do know is this; while Darrin was in handcuffs, his testicles were squeezed. Hard. Twice.
He had to have emergency surgery and is now being watched to see if he will ever be able to father children.

So we are in the courtroom waiting area filled with common citizenry and the press but as I watched the flurry of activity for the young man, I honed in on one person; his mother.
I could feel every bit of her anguish because I lived similar circumstances with my then 15 year old who has since been exonerated and is graduating from College in 4 months.

I waited until an opportunity presented itself, walked over to her and as I shared why we were connected, the tears rolled quietly down her face.. She was relieved that there is hope, that here was another mother who understood every bit of what she was feeling.
I told her she was going to hear some untruths about her son, that she would be hurt by it all but she must try and understand that this is all a part of the process.
I also told her Darrin was the “Rosa Parks”of modern day, that the Universe chose him to bring light to a system that is terribly flawed. When I said that my sole reason for being in the room was to support HER, the tears came freely and we hugged hard, forever connected by a travesty done to our children.
I have chosen to be her voice until
She is strong enough to fully find hers. We will speak up about this until Justice is served.

One more thing; as the impromptu conference was taking place, I separated myself from the crowd and stood among the officers in plain clothes.. Some of the comments made were disgusting but two males said this: ” they have to do something about “her” in the dept. It’s not the first, second or third time she has done this and she has now gone too far.”

I walked away before they realized I was not one of them but I was at least heartened to know, amidst to storm that is brewing over Philadelphia, a few understood this; what happened to that young man was not right.

Enough said.

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“I Love you but you have more issues than Congress”

Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Life around here has been fun, energetic, nail biting and just so much happening , I have not blogged in a couple of weeks.. Children sat on me for no reason other than it’s the comforting thing to do, We ran around the house laughing about one thing or another and  planned the annual Holiday party.  Once the holidays are over, the next big thing is my birthday. National holiday I know, but we ran into a serious snag.  The Philadelphia Eagles won the NFC Championship and the game against the Saints was slated for, you guessed it, the evening of the national holiday aka my day of birth. So, in true diva fashion, I took to Facebook with a quasi serious experiment; Should I let Mister off the hook for dinner that evening, or should he skip the game all together and take his diva out to dinner?

Keep in mind here, that I had already decided to graciously leave him alone because I do not know another person on earth who is a more die-hard Philly fan than he is. Like, to the extreme. No, really.

Anyhow, the responses to my query bordered on hysterical.  Here are a few;

“Take one for the team!  He will make it up to you!”

“What? are you nuts? who knows when the Eagles will make the play-offs again? At least your birthday comes every year” 

” Give him the day and then let him celebrate you all month”

You get the point.   It was a “free Mister” rant for a few days and I laughed at how interesting it all became.  When I told them giving him the day was the least I could do since he is awesome 365 days to us, Someone in boxed me privately and  said how they wished they had such a love like this, that it was difficult to find a good mate etcetera.  I did not disagree and in hindsight, maybe I should have.

There are good, kind decent people all around us and if we do not do the work on ourselves, we may never see them.  I took a look at myself many years ago and figured out that I was the common denominator in relationships that went south.  It was me who chose to accept things I knew were wrong and once I figured that out among a few other things, not two months later, here comes Mister.

He found me, I was not looking for him.  He knew we would be great friends if nothing else and when we became a couple, it was like finding the right piece for a jigsaw puzzle.  We shared the same values and took the time to really communicate through the challenging times because lets’ face it good people, they do come.  We understood it was really important to like each other before we used the “L” word carelessly.

 

One of the things I figured out about myself, is that I needed  a mate who exemplified who my father was for me as a child,  in word and deed.  A man who was not afraid to put his family first, protect us and do everything in his power to keep us safe and happy. Mister is such a  man.    What unleashed in me, was a woman who went above and beyond to put smiles on their faces through my own words and deeds.

The end result has been nothing short of hilarious around here.

Due to the recent weather predictions of 3 degrees with a wind chill of -17, I had the bright idea of making a pot of soup that would last, at least in my head, the entire week.   The pot was huge. Like enough to feed a small army huge.  I chopped veggies, threw the raw chicken in the pot and got to work. an hour later, the scent of this soup had the entire kitchen humming and I went about the business of finding large containers to store it.  Just in case I was off base ( because they can eat like grazing elephants) I also made a double batch of baked Ziti.

 

Pleased with myself, I left the kitchen and went about my business.  When I checked the refrigerator this morning, two thirds of  the ziti was gone and one half of that large pot of soup.

 

I started ranting like a mad woman that this was ridiculous, they had no sympathy that I stood for hours cooking and if they THOUGHT I was going near that kitchen the rest of this week, they had a another thing coming to them.  Mister walked into the kitchen somewhere in the middle of this tirade, watched me pointing the long spoon and said ” Dear, I love you but you have more issues than Congress this morning.”

I stopped mid-rant, looked at him like he had ten heads and then doubled over in laughter.

 

Just like that, crisis averted.  He knew just what to do and it worked.  I am still not cooking anymore this week. I mean it.

 

Enough said IMG_2006