Dear Momma…..

Unless  one resides under a rock with a groundhog, everyone knows The second Sunday in May is Mother’s day and as I sit here watching the rain pitter- patter against my windowsill and breathe in the beauty of this morning, my mother’s face appeared in my sub-conscious mind.  It made me smile and brought a rush of  strong emotions.  You see, my mother is all at once funny, revered and feared depending on the moment and whether you did something she considered egregious…

So c’mon, take this journey with me back to many decades ago when my dear momma gave birth to her first child…

It was back in 196- none- of- your- business, when Mrs. Lawful brought me into to the world and my earliest memories began around two, where I remembered just being happy and spoiled by everyone. There I was, surrounded by my Aunt, her family, my parents and one other sister Karen who poor thing, was the background to my foreground because she was so quiet while I just had to be seen and heard.

My poor mother.  Try as she may, there was nothing that was off- limits to my curious eyes and ears.  If it was possible or even thought of as impossible, there I was in the midst trying it.  I played in dirt in my pretty lil dresses, climbed trees, dismantled precious memorabilia my mother had from her parents searching for a way to make it work, seeking and opening gifts at christmas time, getting into trouble and heading right back under that bed to see what other goodies abound and just being a general happy- go- lucky kid with not a care in the world.

Keep in mind, this was Jamaica, a place where little girls were to be seen and not heard while learning how to be a total lady. Ha!!  I tried my momma at every turn and she was determined that I was not going to get the best of or be the death of her!  All these years later, she still recounts the story of my going out to the ice cream vendor who would come through our block  and telling him that he should stop and drop ice-cream for my sisters and I every day because my parents would pay him at the end of each week..  You can only imagine what happened when he appeared at our door-step on Friday evening to!! I was all of 4 years old?  What made him even listen to or believed me, is beyond my comprehension but there we were.  I think after mommy got past the shock of my brazenness, he was allowed to continue delivering to us certain days of the week.  One of my first lessons in ” nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

As I became a teenager, mommy and I bumped heads quite a bit with daddy in the middle, trying to keep us all happy and for many years, I thought my mother didn’t like me at all.  It is funny that as a mother of teenagers, I can now fully appreciate what having a precocious child like myself must have been like for  her and I have spent many a day calling and apologizing profusely as my youngest takes me to the edge.  She always does the same thing; cackle, thank God for his tender mercies and hangs up the phone on me.

It was around the age of 35, that I turned the corner with my mother.  I called her one day after going through an intense leadership forum and just spilled my heart to her about everything; how I thought she perceived me, how it felt and that it took all these years to realize that everything she did was to raise me into the woman I had become.  In short, I apologized for judging her.  My sweet mother quietly told me that she  always loved me and she did  her best to raise me well.  She admitted I was so different from my sisters, that it at times puzzled her. Truth be told, some days, I am puzzled by myself.. that precocious child became and adult who stands firmly in my beliefs.

Each year, my mother and I get closer; we chat every morning without fail around 5:30 and we catch up on life in general and talk about whatever hilarious thing Daddy or her grandchildren have done.  To say that I love and appreciate my mother is the understatement of the century. I used to sit in awe by her feet and watch her dress impeccably for work, admire her gait and wondered just how she could stroll in heels that seemed impossible to my eyes.  She is well-respected by everyone and is sought for advice regularly.

she is the Ying to my father’s yang, a lady and woman of excellence in every sense of the word.  She raised four girls who are now making their own mark  in this world through her tireless examples and it is all I can do sometimes not to jump on a plane, find my mother and rest my head in her lap as she is the comforting well of love and knowledge that replenishes my soul.

I see so many people who are missing their mothers and to them I say, because of their words, I appreciate my mother that much more while she is yet here among the living.  I love my mother, God knows I do, and as we draw closer to celebrating another Mother’s day, hug your moms tightly.  They give us life and do the best they know how, to raise us.  Hold no grudges and  forgive easily  so you will live without regrets.

This one is for you Dear lady;  an excellent example of motherhood!!

Enough said.

kissing my momma


About lawfultrainer

Passionate Educator on all things but especially family partnerships. Determined. Driven.

Posted on May 11, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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