Hold me back…
In a recent phone message from a parent I had never met, was a frantic plea for a return call as she wanted a refund on Summer school and needed to know how to best have that happen. My gut instinct went red hot but I sighed and called while hoping for the best. If wishes were like horses…
This delightful woman paid for two clasess that her child flunked during the school year and several days in, he had not been in said classes so she wanted a refund. Silly me, I asked if he was ill etc, and the response was ” no, he just refused to attend”. Before I could stop myself, I asked, ” And he is residing where after that decision?”
She bashfully said he “thinks” he’s grown and she just wants her monies returned. I sighed and nicely told her having the money returned was the LEAST of her issues and explained that summer school was not there for Educators to get extra pay; it’s designed to have children make it to the next grade when they failed to make the mark during the school year. I advised her to make him aware that this was not a game and if he desired to not be left behind while his peers moved ahead, he needed to revisit that brash move he made in deciding not to attend.
The larger issue here for me though are parents who believe that once a child reaches the ripe old age of 14, they no longer have control of said child. In what world? How does this happen when you feed, clothe and put a roof over this child’s head? When did we become “afraid” to speak to them for fear of hurting their feelings or worse, retribution?
Parents, please love your children but not to the point where they are so rotten and self serving that you no longer have control in your own home. Set strong parameters in place, then abide by them because mark my words, doing it on the front end consistently, will save you from having a forty year old child living in your basement like an albatross around your neck on the back end. This is not a dress rehearshal and society does not care that he/ she will not be able to cope with what they should have learned as a youngster.
I live by this mantra in my house: ” you are never too grown, not while you are living here. When you leave and start paying your own bills, then all the stupid decisions you choose to make can be done freely. until then, you dance to this tune called * my momma is crazy and not to be played with*”